Chelsey Chasing Life: Happy Birth Day

Today is not the day I was born. Today is the day I came alive.

It has been 365 days, one whole year, since I underwent Roux-en-Y Gastric Bypass Surgery. An entire year since I said goodbye to the "old me" and sprinted towards the possibility of a new me, a true me.

I get asked a lot of questions about my surgery.

Did it hurt? Yes.

Was it hard? Yep.

Would I do it again? Every single day, over and over again.

I struggled to wake up after surgery. After several hours, I was allowed to leave recovery and go to my hospital room but I still wasn't awake. I wasn't awake, but I was aware. I remember hearing my Mom say "Chelsey, we are all here". I remember my husband saying "Baby wake up". I remember my Mother-in-Law telling my husband to hold my hand and I remember feeling his touch. I so desperately wanted to open my eyes and tell them I was okay, but I just couldn't. Hours later, I remember hearing my nurse tell my husband "Go on home. When she wakes up, I promise I'll tell her you were here and I made you leave to get sleep. She'll be okay.". In the early morning hours, I finally opened my eyes for the first time, and there was my nurse. She said "I sent him home. He really loves you. You are okay."

And then, I started to cry.

Anesthesia always makes me cry. The blunt trauma my body had experienced that day made me cry. (Dang, it hurt!) Being on an oxygen mask and unable to breathe made me cry. But mostly, I cried because I wasn't dead - and I was so glad! I had been told if I didn't change my life and lose weight, I would die very young and sooner rather than later. As I was being wheeled into the OR, I wondered for the first time if my body would be able to survive such a major ordeal. I didn't say anything extraordinary to my family when I told them goodbye; I didn't want to die, but for the first time ever I will admit: I thought that I was going to.

So, I cried because I didn't. Instead of dying, I came alive in a way I had never expected.

It has been one year.