Dive On In

There is a list I store on my phone that one of my best pals Amy & I created in the weeks leading up to my surgery date: "Why I Wanna Lose Weight". Many of those things now have a green check mark beside them (wear shorts in the summer, not have anxiety about fitting in a seat on a plane, cross my legs) but one of the reasons why, perhaps one of my biggest reasons, finally earned it's green check mark this past weekend:

Be the best Aunt I can be.

My family surprised my Grandparents with a party this weekend at the lake. You see, they both turn 75 years old this summer (and are my heroes!). For the first time in my life, I walked around in a 2-piece swim suit (without a cover-up) like I didn't care, because I didn't! That in itself was a miracle. But then, from a large, inflatable ducky came the sweetest little voice:

"Pleaseeeeee, Aunt Chelsey?! Please, please, pleaseeeeeee?!"

Cayden, my 5 year old nephew, wanted his Aunt Chelsey to jump off the incredibly-high, incredibly-terrifying high-dive. "No way, Cayden. Absolutely not!"

"Nooooo! PLEASE!!!!"

This time it was JaColby, my 6 year old nephew, begging me to get my butt out of the water and plummet to my death; errr, gracefully dive into the unknown depths of Lake Wabaunsee from what I was certain to be approximately 100,000 feet up in the air.

Somehow, I was able to tune out their begging for a moment of self-talk: "This is why you lost this weight, Chelsey. No more sidelines. Conquer your fears. Jump off the stupid board. What's the worst that could happen?" {answer: i could die. HA!}

That pep talk continued as I pulled myself out of the lake, made the walk to the high-dive, climbed up the stairs, prayed to Jesus and tried to talk myself out of it. There's only one thing that terrifies me more than heights, and that is drowning. But it was too late - chants of "Chelsey! Chelsey!" echoed throughout the cove and below, were two wide-eyed little boys who were so excited that their Aunt Chelsey was about to do a trick.

And so, I closed my eyes. I said out loud "This is why."

And I jumped.

When I resurfaced, I had tears in my eyes. I was those little dude's hero. They were so proud of their Aunt Chelsey! At breakfast the next morning, Cayden said to me "Remember when you jumped real high into the lake? That was the BEST part!!" 

A year ago, even 15 years ago, you would have found me on the sidelines. I wasn't taking risks. I wasn't making memories. I was barely living.

I will remember Saturday's Jump for the rest of my life. I left the old me on that diving board, and resurfaced as not the "new" me, but the REAL me.

Check, check - complete.